LESSON TWO: Detach the Story
A Feeling is like a wave.
It rises high, crests and then dissipates. If you can disconnect the thoughts or the story causing the feeling, and just focus on the vibration themselves, you can ride the wave in about 90 seconds.
Yes, 90 seconds.
It is when we keep looping back to the thoughts causing the feeling that we keep the intensity going in one wave after the other.
Eventually it becomes too much for our systems to handle. We can spin out, get out of it entirely to avoid the feelings, or get swallowed up. When you are looping over and over to the story, you will not be able to really feel and release the feeling.
Detaching from the Story
1. Notice when you have a story looping.
Are you attaching meaning to the feeling? If you notice the waves hitting over and over, find the thought that is causing the feeling. There is always a thought causing a feeling.
What story are you telling yourself to cause the feeling? This is not a time to decide the validity of the story, who was right, wrong, what should have been done etc. That is all part of the crazy mind drama our brain gets stuck in. Put that to the side. At this moment, it does not matter.
2. Drop into your body.
Connecting with your breath is a great way to drop into your body. I like to do 3 breathes in and 6 breaths out for a few cycles and close my eyes.
3. Feel the vibrations.
What are the physical sensations you are feeling at that moment? See LESSON ONE for help.
4. Redirect, redirect, redirect.
If the mind goes back to the story, gently redirect it to the physical vibrations. Nothing has gone wrong. It is perfectly normal for your brain to keep looping and trying to make sense of the story. In this moment, you just want to focus on the feeling. You can let the mind know you can always go back to the story, but for right now, you are just going to sit with the physical vibrations.
If my mind is particularly not useful, I personify it to give myself a little space between it and me. Even just saying “thank you brain, I see that you want to keep going over the story. Right now that is not serving me. I am to feel what is happening and I will get back to the story if or when it is important.”